Let’s face it, tidying up with children can be a chore in its own right. Through the years, I have compiled a few go-to tricks that inject a little fun into putting toys away. These strategies work (most of the time) and none of them involve stickers, snacks, or bribes. In fact, with a little practice, your kids may even want to tidy up!
So, without further ado, here are some quick and dirty tricks to putting toys away without tears (most days)…
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Be involved
Your relationship matters. Aim for communication rather than control. Working together is always easier than fighting. Telling a child to tidy up isn’t enough; we need to help, encourage, redirect, and have fun. For young children, in particular, our presence and assistance is essential to creating positive tidy-up habits.
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Enter your child’s world
Imagine. You are about to take a sip of a much-longed-for drink when someone orders you to wash your cup and put it away. Not fun, right?
It’s the same for our kids. They may be building a city or traveling to space; maybe they are running their own shop or creating a piece of art. Whatever they are doing, it is important to them and they probably want to finish it before clearing up. A great way to transition from play to action is to join your child’s world. Let them tell you about what they are doing. Be interested. Explain it’s time to put things away and ask if there is anything they need to do beforehand. Are there are any toys or crafts they would like to continue working or playing with in the future? If so, put them in a safe place.
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Create designated places for everything
It is much easier to tidy up when everyone knows where things go. Books go on the bookshelf, blocks go in the block box, and soft toys go in the soft toy zoo. Labeled toy boxes are super helpful. Have fun with this; pretend to put things away in the wrong places and allow your children to correct you.
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Order in Chaos
Sometimes, tidying up can seem overwhelming. Breaking chores down into bitesize pieces makes them more manageable. If there are a thousand Legos or multiple toys all over the floor, assign roles or mini-tasks. For example, only tidy one color or size at a time. When the task is done, set a new one until everything is put away. Be sure to involve the kids in the decisions, “What should we put away next, a or b?”
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Set challenges not consequences
Rather than introducing consequences for failure, create challenges and a sense of accomplishment. For example, “Can you put all the yellow blocks away before the timer dings?” Alternatively, put on some music and try to finish tidying before the song finishes. If you don’t succeed, try again until you do. The reward? A sense of accomplishment. Congratulate each other and take pride in your work.
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Target Practice
When cleaning up small or soft toys, set up the toy box as a target. From a distance, everyone throws the toys into the box. It can take a little longer to put things away, and young kids may be tempted to tip all the toys out to play again, but it is fun. 😉
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Be a coach and a cheerleader
As a parent, you are both coach and cheerleader. Set challenges. Demonstrate how to do things. Tell them you enjoy working together as a team. Appreciate and respect their efforts. Comfort them if things go wrong. Help them try again. Be excited by their success.
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Have a routine
Routine, routine, routine. It is much easier to engage children in cleaning and tidying when they are a regular part of the day. Although they may try, it is not as easy to argue about something that is built into everyday life.
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Throw out the routine!
Yes, this appears to oppose the previous point. But, you can only throw out the routine if you have one in the first place. It is good to switch things up (occasionally). An extra 15 minutes playtime can be a fun reward or treat. Have fun with it.
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Let it go
Unfortunately, there are days when battle lines are drawn and defiance rules. Defiance is a reaction to discomfort or stress (not necessarily related to the present moment), and defiant behaviors come in many forms including procrastination, tears, anger, or refusal.
If tidying up is turning into a battle, let it go. Support your child with their big emotions. Sometimes, once a child is feeling emotionally supported they will be happy to tidy up. Other times, they may be too tired or overwhelmed. So, on days like this, let things be. If you need to, you can put everything away when the kids are in bed.
The next post will look at what to do when defiance and unwillingness to tidy become the norm (because I have been there too). Be sure to be notified about the next post by clicking subscribe.
This list is by no means exhaustive. What magic have you employed to make tidying up more of a joy? Do you have any strategies that motivate your kids? Please add your thoughts in the comments, we can never have too many tricks up our sleeves. Let’s turn the beehive into a village.